[vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” text_align=”left” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_column_text el_class=”post_txt”](Romano \u201eBaik cirkus, Cvirka\u201c i\u0161trauka)<\/p>\n
Atsirado begal\u0117 \u012fdomiausi\u0173 galimybi\u0173… Matyti, \u017einoti, jausti… Net prasiskverbti per daiktus, i\u0161nerti pro sienas. Galiu net kiaurai \u017emones pranerti.
\nNaujoji mano esyb\u0117 nesuvokiama tiems, tupin\u0117jantiems aplinkui karst\u0105.
\nVyresnioji sesuo Izabel\u0117 nesulaiko a\u0161ar\u0173. Aniceta spokso i\u0161sigandusi. Izabel\u0117 nor\u0117t\u0173 paliesti man veid\u0105, bet ka\u017ekas rikteli: \u201eNegalima!.. Negalima!\u201c
\nAt\u0117jo ir Michalina. Ma\u010diau, kaip steng\u0117si nepravirkti. Laik\u0117si i\u0161did\u017eiai, pris\u0117do \u0161alia mano seser\u0173. Ech, Mikase, Mikas\u0117le\u2026 Tavo svajon\u0117s nei\u0161sipild\u0117 \u2013 niekada a\u0161 tau nepriklausiau. O kaip tro\u0161kai, gundei, kvailiojai, kad tik mano Markiukas pavyd\u0117t\u0173, kad tik susipyktume.
\nV\u0117liau treps\u0117dama apie mano paminkl\u0105 priekai\u0161tausi Mik\u0117nui: \u201eK\u0105 tu, Juozai, nulipdei\u2026 Cvirkos l\u016bpos buvo mink\u0161tesn\u0117s\u2026 daug mink\u0161tesn\u0117s\u2026\u201c
\nAtne\u0161ei g\u0117li\u0173 prie karsto, \u017einau, atne\u0161i ir ant kapo. Gal be reikalo, drauge Me\u0161kauskiene\u2026<\/p>\n
Maryt\u0117 Kaune. Guli lovoje \u2013 sutino kojos, Elenut\u0117 nerami, vartosi \u012fs\u010diose. Mano moteris bando \u012fsivaizduoti kelion\u0119 \u012f Vilni\u0173. Pakyla, matuojasi batus: visi per ma\u017ei. Suknel\u0117s baisiai ank\u0161tos. Velkasi vien\u0105, kit\u0105, tre\u010di\u0105… Skudur\u0173 kr\u016bva auga.<\/p>\n
Negaliu prastai apsitaisyti, juk a\u0161 \u2013 Ra\u010dkauskait\u0117!
\nBaugina ilgas duob\u0117tas kelias iki Vilniaus. Gerai pakratys, ir prad\u0117siu gimdyti? Kas, kad esu stipri, u\u017egr\u016bdinta karo sunkum\u0173? N\u0117\u0161tumas visk\u0105 pakeit\u0117. Vaik\u0161tau lyg prisirpusi didel\u0117 kriau\u0161\u0117…
\nSuskamba dur\u0173 skambutis. L\u0117tai jas praveriu. Nepa\u017e\u012fstamas vyri\u0161kis \u012fbruka man \u012f rankas kelet\u0105 banknot\u0173, liepia pasira\u0161yti ant ka\u017ekokio blanko. Ra\u0161ytoj\u0173 s\u0105jungos parama… Girdi, kaunie\u010diai draugai r\u016bpinasi… Kelionei…
\nPuolu gr\u0105\u017einti pinigus, ta\u010diau vyri\u0161kis u\u017etrenkia duris.
\n\u0160lepenu iki lovos, apsiverkiu, pabunda Andriukas, apsikabina mane, jau\u010diu, kaip tankiai tuksi vaiko \u0161irdel\u0117.
\nRegiu gatves: pastaruoju metu da\u017en\u0105 nakt\u012f negaliu u\u017emigti, tad ir skuod\u017eiu giliomis senamies\u010di\u0173 kreiv\u0117mis tarp auk\u0161t\u0173 nam\u0173. Esu vis kitame mieste \u2013 Pary\u017eiuje, Vilniuje, Leningrade, Kijeve… Pusiaumiegio kliedesy vejuosi ma\u017e\u0105 mergyt\u0119… B\u0117gu jai i\u0161 paskos, o pavyti negaliu… R\u0117kiu: \u201eElenute! Elenute!..\u201c
\nMergyt\u0117s k\u016bnelis plaukte plaukia \u0161e\u0161\u0117liuot\u0173 gatvi\u0173 prieblandoje, ji skrenda, ji lekia \u2013 lengvut\u0117 lyg pauk\u0161\u010dio plunksna, o man\u0119s kojos neklauso, a\u0161 klumpu ir v\u0117l keliuosi, \u0161irdis dau\u017eosi kaip patrakusi, regis, tuojau i\u0161\u0161oks i\u0161 kr\u016btin\u0117s…
\nStaiga mergyt\u0117 \u012fsmunka pro praviras m\u016brinio namo duris. \u0160ios pok\u0161teli ir u\u017esitrenkia. Kum\u0161\u010diu dau\u017eau nu\u0161iurusias lentas, nusibrozdinu krumplius… Niekas ne\u012fsileid\u017eia.
\nPaskui lipu laiptais \u012f ka\u017ekoki\u0105 pal\u0117p\u0119 \u2013 lyg Pary\u017eiuje, kur su Petru buvome apsistoj\u0119. Duris atidaro Petro sesuo Ben\u0117, o u\u017e jos stovi… Vie\u0161patie, Zimanas. Jis stumia mane gilyn \u012f kambar\u012f, griauna ant lovos ir r\u0117kia: \u201ePrasi\u017eerk!.. Grei\u010diau\u2026 Grei\u010diau\u2026 Kv\u0117puok giliai\u2026 Stanginkis\u2026 Gimdyk! Gimdyk\u2026\u201c[\/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][\/vc_column][\/vc_row][vc_row row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” text_align=”left” css_animation=””][vc_column][vc_btn title=”Pirkti \u017eurnal\u0105” style=”classic” shape=”square” color=”white” link=”url:http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nemunas.press%2Fproduktas%2Fnemunas-nr-10-2019%2F|||”][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Romano \u201eBaik cirkus, Cvirka\u201c i\u0161traukoje istoriniai ir literat\u016briniai XX\u00a0a. pirmosios pus\u0117s Lietuvos persona\u017eai tikr\u0173 \u012fvyki\u0173 ir nuogird\u0173 mirguliuojan\u010dioj panoramoj \u012ftaigiai atskleid\u017eia ne tik svarbiausius to laiko \u012fvykius, bet ir dvasi\u0105. Nebijantys skambi\u0173 frazi\u0173 tikrai ras pagrind\u0105 pareik\u0161ti\u00a0\u2013 jei apie sovietmet\u012f b\u016bt\u0173 ra\u0161\u0119s J.\u00a0Joyce\u2019as, tekstas tur\u0117t\u0173 atrodyti b\u016btent \u0161itaip.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":26247,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_FSMCFIC_featured_image_caption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_nocaption":"","_FSMCFIC_featured_image_hide":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[374,148,389],"tags":[315],"class_list":["post-26246","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2019-10","category-perkami_str","category-straipsniu-archyvas-2019","tag-grozine-literatura"],"aioseo_notices":[],"wps_subtitle":"Gasparas Aleksa","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26246","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=26246"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26246\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":26248,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/posts\/26246\/revisions\/26248"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/media\/26247"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=26246"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=26246"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.nemunas.press\/wm-api\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=26246"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}